abba. daddy. dad. papa. father
father has not left nor stayed. He isn't alive nor he is dead.
Grief is death person's dead lagging.
The person is dead but stays within our bodies, Grief is the refusal of universal laws and acceptance of love
I am certain something dies within me, each time it sinks that it has happened, the most fearful incident of my life has taken place; it is my father, Abba, daddy he is no more. That round face with the gap between those straight teeth is no more. The sturdy worker's hands and those broad shoulders have left.
It has happened. It has occurred.
The realisation is often attributed to the gravity of this travesty and something sinks, jerks, pounds or pulls down within my body. And there is a loud bang within me, a sharp quiver and a sudden hot flash - skin shines with the downpour of sweat. Just, as if unable to bear it, my body rejects this realisation and sheds it through the pores of my skin.
And body slowly returns to denial.